Concerning the Hokey-Pokey, Couples, and the Limbo

Whirling teenyboppers and homeboys with 80s music and fluorescent lighting.

Last week, we pulled into the parking lot of a usual-looking skating rink in Anderson, SC, and we thought we’d warped into another dimension. Now, understandably, it was Friday night, but when we cued into the line of 50 people waiting to get in, we began internally shaking our heads with eyes widened and jaws dropped. Half of the people in line toted their very own, personal roller skates. I even saw that tall and skinny, middle-aged guy who thrives at every rink because he can skate loopty-loops backwards around everyone else. So smooth. A security guard stood amidst the line to deter, I think, gang-related or juvenile-style shenanigans. While we were waiting, I noticed a sign listing about fifteen very particular rules of the rink. The security guard (a county sheriff) asked a young man to remove his hood. I was not allowed to wear my ball cap. Everyone wanted in.

Once we finally made it in, into the 1980s, I mean this skating rink, we grabbed our rental skates, put them on, and turned towards the rink. People were flying by us in the snack area. We were outnumbered by pre-teens 6 to 1, easy. This was the place to be. The rink cop was gliding around the rink whistling at the skaters to maintain order. Kids were skating and holding hands, standing and holding hands, cuddling and holding hands, eating a slice of pizza and holding hands, and texting the person they with whom they were holding hands. My three year old, cute as he was in skates, got hit on by countless 11 year old teenyboppers. I skated around the rink several times, but by the end of our time, I realized that what I really paid for that night was an all expense paid trip to a completely different country or planet. This place was crawling with adolescent-vitality. I sat there, pulling off my skates to return to “Baby” (preferred nomenclature of her 15 y/0 coworker for her), and thought, “Where am I? What is this all about? What makes these people tick?” I haven’t the slightest, but I do know it was almost other-worldly.